my perspective

Introduce yourself and share your personal hyperhidrosis related experiences.
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whaal
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:52 pm

my perspective

Post by whaal »

Hello everybody. I wanted to start off by saying thank you to those responsible for this online community. When I read your heartfelt stories I can feel myself tearing up, because I can empathize with all of the anxiety, fears, and a many aspects of the hyperhidrosis life experience that others with this problem live through with such courage. Thank you for opening up to others who share some of your concerns regarding this condition. It means so much to me, and I am sure I am not alone.

I am a 20 year old male college student and I will be transferring to a 4 year university for the first time this weekend. I finally feel ready to live on my own (to whatever extent living in a dorm room during the semester is "on my own") and I am both excited and nervous for this change.

I have sweaty hands and feet. From what I can surmise from reading others' personal accounts, my case is not as severe as some others. In terms of discharge, there is never very much sweat being secreted in a concentrated area at a time. Instead, it comes with consistency and a long duration of sweating. The sweating is mainly secreted from the fingertips, the side of my palm (side opposite the thumb), and on the tops of my fingers below the cuticle. On the foot it appears to be localized on the top and bottom of my toes. This sweat on my hands does not even produce an odor that I detect.

However, despite whatever relative standing of my hyperhidrosis in comparison to others, it still has been a challenge in my life. My life kind of changed when I was in sixth grade and was made aware by my two best friends at the time that my sweaty hands were not like their dry hands. It took repeated times of being told that I had sweaty hands to really get the implications that they were socially unacceptable.

While the next four years I was more self aware and self-conscious about the hyperhidrosis, I would say that for the most part it was not a problem in my life. This changed when my tenth grade Spanish class had some dancing instructor teach us how to do some fashion of Spanish dance that, of course, involved holding hands. This was probably one of the most embarrassing times of my life and I remember it like it was yesterday. I could tell that all the girls in my class were shocked to discover my sweaty hands and although they not obnoxious about it, I could tell that they all thought it was gross and very unattractive of me to have this trait. I remember some months later having the incident referenced to me by a friend who wasn't there, telling me that he remembered overhearing the group of girls discuss my sweaty hands with what I assumed was a tone of derision. Ever since then I was extremely ashamed of my condition and noticed it truly affecting my life. I have only had one romantic relationship in my life. I have had a tendency to avoid social situations. I am constantly self-concious about my sweaty hands. Generally speaking, when I am out in public, I just wish the darn things would act normally. I have felt pretty resigned at different times due to this condition.

I think it is very natural to have these feelings. I assume that most anybody reading this can empathize or understand what I have described above. With this big change in my life up ahead, I would be remiss if I were not to admit that my hyperhidrosis is a cause for concern for the this upcoming phase of my life, if not the rest of it in its entirety.

What I cannot help asking myself right now, moreso even than "why can't my extremities stay dry like everyone else!?", is "why do I even care?" When I take stock of my life, on a bigger scale than just my fingers and toes, the whole thing seems trivial and frankly vain for me to be so worked up about. My left-brain tells me all of the reasons why the fact that this is so bothersome proves that I don't know my ass from a hole in the ground. It cites the following reasons:
-The main (read: only) reason that I care about it is because of the way it sets me apart from others.
-Since I am a sensitive and caring person, and very much value these traits in people that I spend time with, then I should be open and unabashed about my condition because I would only want to surround myself with people who don't mind (especially when it comes to dating someone, although I find it hard to truly imagine that it wouldn't honestly be a turn-off to any non HH girl).
-I cannot control how people may perceive me or anyone else. The fact that I have hyperhydrosis doesn't make me responsible for whatever feelings may project about it (e.g. that they would assume that I am nervous). Whatever they think about me is up to them and this is always going to be true.

If I am being honest with myself, I think it would be the most truly freeing thing of all to just accept the hyperhidrosis as (hopefully a small, and ultimately inconsequential) part of my fate. I want to own my hyperhidrosis, and say "yes, I have it." and have that be the beginning, middle and end of it. I don't want to bend over backwards to electrocute my hands, or rub them with aluminum chloride before I go to bed, just so that I can feel comfortable in my own skin. Although the part of me that has been so affected by the HH thus far has trouble believing this, there is another part of me that thinks I can feel comfortable in my own skin, as sweaty as it may be. I really want to do everything I can to give that side of me a chance to do its thing and just allow me to be content with myself, sweaty hands and all. Maybe I will fail but that is where I am working hard toward as I enter this new chapter in my life.

Thank you so much for reading this. It means a lot to me and I wish you all happiness and peace with however you approach this problem.

Sonya
Posts: 23
Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2012 4:13 pm

Re: my perspective

Post by Sonya »

Dear Whaal,

I can totally relate to your story. I remember the first time I went roller skating. My hands sweated all the time anyway, but when I was nervous, the sweat literally dripped off of them. I was about 14-years-old and very nervous about learning to roller skate but determined not to let this problem stop me. A really cute guy asked me to skate the "couples skate". He held my hand for all of 10 seconds, dropped it, and skated off. I was horrified.

I switched to ice skating so I could wear gloves!

I could write a book about ways to avoid shaking hands, what to wear to help with the sweating, etc. At around age 30, I had had enough. I explained the problem to my doctor and he prescribed Tranxene. I take 2 pills each day and no more hand or feet sweating.

Gone is the sweating and the anxiety that came with knowing the hurdles I would face each day. There were times in the summer when I feared I would lose control of the steering wheel in my car due to my wet hands!

I urge you to talk to a doctor about it. Mine didn't get better. It only got worse. It is especially difficult when you have a job like mine where you meet clients on a daily basis and must shake hands. It is such a relief to be able to shake hands with confidence now.

I have written other posts here about Tranxene. Please read them and please, please talk to your doctor.

Good Luck!

Sonya

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